Sir, this offer is only for you

This small piece of plastic, this slip of a card, this wafer thing of a card has all world crammed into it. We are talking about SIM card, dear reader. It is like piece of universe carved into a very difficult shape. It is as if it were arrested before becoming a rectangle, because somebody bit off a piece.

Who has cast it into that shape is a mystery, and it will need some MIT scholars to find it out. May be a research is now under way, “ Documenting the history of the Shape of SIM as first made in C 2000”.  Whatever the end- result of the study may be, we know one thing for sure, this card will stay here for long. 

Years later, probably or eons later, somebody would bring up a new idea, “In fact SIM card was first made by Vikings in 11 century. The marauding band of people came to England with this gadget, and in those days, they made it out of a tree bark”. Still nobody will be able to say anything worth acceptable about its shape. Leave its shape and mystery aside for a while.  This stuff that we cram in the phones, this stuff that decide our daily prattling and chatting eats a lot of hard earned money every day. People put money into its invisible slot, and call it “recharging”. How much you put there, you will never be able to fully recharge it. There might still be space enough to fill a huge SWISS bank, and everything would peter out the moment you start chatting, talking and using internet.

At the mounting point of an interesting chat or talk, there plops a message from your SERVICE PROVIDER, “you have got the balance for one minute talk, so recharge your phone”.  That is where the problems set in. Since it happens almost every day, we rather get used to it and don’t give damn about it. 

Step in a shop for recharging, your head will spin at different offers. “sir, if you want full talk time, try this Rs 220 recharge coupon. You will get the worth of the full money you put there,” the boy at the counter would explode. You have doubts: “so what happens when I put just Rs 200? Why the hell they don’t give the service worth the money I spend”.  Now he sits laidback and reels off: “You don’t worry sir, please see various offers here. By the by your SIM Is CARDIA? or MARDIA?, VARDIA? – now see sir, it is CARDIA, the company offers various plans. You can try Rs230 plan, Rs 450 plan Rs 568 plan , or Rs 9809 plan.

If you are a businessman I will suggest you only the last plan. Because, they offer a big plan for midnight talk. Midnight means, not so middle of the night, may be a few minutes after that. Only you have to stay up at about 1 pm, Yes, the dead of the night and make calls to anybody you like, you can then talk for an hour. No charges sir, no charges. This is a highly beneficial order. Only have to be up at that time. Don’t worry sir, many I know don’t sleep at that time, they simply walk around the park talking business. I know a businessman who talks about shipping ostrich feathers to china for making ‘feathery umbrellas’. What a assiduously business-minded man!!!.  Now please take this seat sir. Let me detail you some other interesting offers.  The company offers some special plans for physically challenged persons.

Oh don’t worry you can manage some. Yes, your limbs are OK, but if you are lame-footed, you will get Rs 244 worth for just 240 recharge plan. FOUR RUPPEES is a great money sir. I can manage a special offer for you. Yes, there it is. Could you please turn your head around, let me see if you have that bald spot at the centre of your head. Oh Yes, what a lucky man, you got it. Sir, you are perfectly OK for getting this new offer, “special recharge offer for BALD headed people” we call it BHP offer. Also note that if your hair is grey, you have another offer. Most women these days make use of this offer. Yes, sir this offer is only for you.