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Bridgerton Episode 101 | Liam Daniel/NETFLIX © 2020

Homechevron_rightOpinionchevron_rightColumnchevron_rightLooking at the other...

Looking at the other side of the bridge in Bridgerton season 1


'Bridgerton' has been a huge hit and among the top Netflix original shows during the pandemic.Though it might not be based in the present times, it has some powerful insights, some lessons and some connection to and for the society today. The characters of the Duke (husband) and his mother figure and Daphne (wife) and his mother are mostly referred to in this column.

Marriage between two truly strong people isn't easy but can lead to a great marriage

Marriage in most cases is like a war or the situation is such that one gender dominates and the other is suppressed. Two strong people marrying could mean more clashes and more arguments, less compromise and less sacrifice.

However, the show makes us reflect that when two strong people try to understand each others traumas, when they are honest to themselves and know what they want then marriage becomes easier.

The wife no matter how frustrated with the husband in some situations, when she understood his childhood traumas, she made an attempt to love him differently, to change her actions that led to different actions from the husband too.

She belonged to a family where she could express freely and where her mother was quite supportive of her. He belonged to a home where the father was very ruthless and the mother had died. He was raised by another strong lady who made him a capable man.

When the mother figure in his life bonded well with his wife, it became easier to deal with him, to make him open to love more deeply.

Two strong people could mean higher and better abilities to think and analyse, better chances to drive and lead change in themselves and in others around them. When two strong people realise their true strengths, they can lead a happy and healthy marriage life, with more peace and less conflicts.

Redefining the perfect couple

Society prefers a marriage between two people with similar social or financial status, similar race, culture, community or background.

The show makes us ponder on how that could be interpreted differently. When the two women discuss about their children, the mother of the wife says that she has raised her well to lead the society. She didn't belong to the same society that she was getting married into but she was raised to lead it. Sometimes people who have the same soul frequency are brought together by God no matter where they may be, how unfamiliar and unknown to each other. They were individually being raised in systems that were helping them to be who they were meant to be.

A perfect couple isn't the one where they belong to the same race, culture or community but they have similar soul configuration and therefore inspite of distances and differences, they are brought together for some higher purpose. A perfect couple is one where their vibrations match, their thoughts align, their words tune perfectly and their actions seem different yet familiar and make sense.

A healthy marriage is more about friendship than romance

The entertainment industry has made romance of the typical kind so popular that youth of the current generation mostly think of romance as an integral part of marriage. It is an important part but not the most important one. Friendship is.

When two people are best friends, when they can share, discuss, speak like friends about anything, without fear, without worrying about being judged, without having to pretend, without the need to impress each other, by freely sharing and finding support and peace in each other, romance goes to another level, the intimacy is of a different kind. Even when there is conflict in the marriage, in personal or professional life, the friendship brings them together to share honestly, to confide in each other and to seek support from each other.

Even romance becomes deeper and intimate as the couple can bare each others soul and the mind and the body follow. Unlike a romance driven marriage alone, where the actions could turn superficial to get results.

A strong woman's idea and understanding of marriage

Today's society glorifies single women being strong and courageous, bold and brave enough to reject, to survive and thrive alone, to stand up and speak up.

Marriage and married women, majority thus having to pretend they are blissfully happy or they are just being a couple in love or being satisfied with good pictures for social media to make them and others feel that all is fine. All can be fine without being aware that everything isn't fine.

Being honest with oneself is more difficult than being honest with others. Many young women and older women too feel proud of their single status whereas they may not mind flirting, impressing the opposite gender in other ways still claiming publicly to be happy being single, sharing memes and jokes to grab attention.

The show makes us reflect that being a strong woman and desiring marriage is completely fine. She goes out of her way to find ways to explore marriage with different men but deep inside aware that who she wanted to be with. It wasn't too clear from the start but the situations made them come closer. Her clarity, her strength and ability to express her desire to marry and what she wanted in a marriage on different occasions shows her character. Her desire to have control of her life and take charge of it is admirable.

Strong women being single would have made sense for a long time. Being married and striving to lead a healthy marriage by self investment requires more strength, more character and ability. It needs a lot of personal work and the "isms" and agendas, shortcuts might be more appealing than the road not taken which requires more efforts, more personal work.

Strong mothers influencing the males in the right way

The mother of the wife and the mother figure of the husband both are strong females who know how to influence the males in the right way.

The mother figure reminds him, guides him, makes him think, encourages him to open up and not give up on what he wants and at the same time thinking and questioning about how his actions could ruin the life of a girl. The mother knows her power and therefore doesn't let her brother ruin her life and allowing her daughter to follow her heart.

The show makes us reflect that when older women in the life of a couple truly know their power, their influence on the males in their life, it can lead to positive results for everyone concerned. It reduces conflict because there is transparency and clarity, there are no mind games. They were powerful women who knew what true strength meant and didn't necessarily needs titles and validation from society of their power and influence.

The Netflix show's season 2 is much awaited and the season 1 has been full of insights so it can be said that there could be more lessons and insights in the season 2 as well.

(Madiha Ahmed is a Socio-Cognitive Development Expert, an Intergenerational Family Leadership Coach)

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